its hard to be what others want you to me.
its difficult living up the expectations of others.
"you shouldnt be doing this."
"you shouldnt be doing that."
"you should do this."
"you're wrong."
"I AM RIGHT!"
"I AM ALWAYS RIGHT!"
why shld i.
i dont wanna to be anything.
i dont wanna be a puppet, manipulated by ppl, not having a mind of my own.
i dont wanna be a clown, putting up a front infront of others.
i dont want to!
i dont want to!!!
all i want now is the company of no one.
and i love this solitude.
no facades.
no nothing..
i guess i need no one now.
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
migraine.
at 5:42:00 PM
Saturday, January 29, 2005you innocent little child.
i love you. :)
at 10:11:00 PM
good morning peeps! :)
woke up early today!
supposed to leave house like NOW.
cause ive got ushering today.
BUT THEN..
that dear mummy of mine wants me to have my breakfast before going out.
and she's already out of the house, at some market and hawker center, buying my breakfast.
so i cant possibly say NO I DONT WANT IT, and break her heart rite.. alright..
families are all sacred links in the eternal circle of life..
(haha. got this out of can you keep a secret?)
oh wells. hahaha.
ooh. my sister blessed me with some pocket money.
when im broke today. thank god!
haha. its not so bad having a elder sister afterall.
though there were times when we will quarrel and she will take my stuff or eat my chocolates without me knowing... haha.
as ive said.. FAMILIES ARE ALL SACRED LINKS IN THE ETERNAL CIRCLE OF LIFE..
so yay.. thank god for her! :):):):)
at 8:59:00 AM
Friday, January 28, 2005oh my.
ive a pimple outbreak.
gonna wash my face one thousand times everyday.
haha. ok.
just kidding.
dont waste facial foam.
and too much will make my face rot i think.
haha. :P
and i really need a haircut man..
my fringe is too long-its getting into my eyes.
and the rest of my hair is rather long and out of place and messy.
and i look so haggard and haggard.. and haggard again.
ok.
ya. so in conclusion: I NEED A HAIRCUT! to resume the pretty old me.
HAHA. just kidding.
its a joke.
im getting fat.
-starts wobbling fats at tummy-
haha.
at 10:09:00 PM
Thursday, January 27, 2005tiring day.
was kinda amused by nana and her friend.
the way they speak is so funny.
haha.
and do anyone know anything abt
BINOMIAL EXPANSION and MATRICES?
cause i know nuts abt them.
since there arent any nutty thingy abt math, i cant possibly know anything abt it!! its imaginary stuff!! ok.. goodness. i think im crapping.
its ok if you ppl. dont understand what im talking abt cos i think i dont really understand it too. muahhahaha...
I NEED HELP!! cause amath test is on monday! -gasp
its just so nice to talk to ur pri. sch. classmates.
after 4 long years.
we seldom see each other, due to our different schedules and schools. but when i talked to them, i really feel very happy. :):):)
i really love being with them.
when we're together, we just seem to become primary kids again.. not the behaviour i guess, but the happiness and joy when we're together, playing, talking.. :)
gonna meet them up one of these days to do some(or maybe alot) of catching up! haha.
at 8:49:00 PM
Wednesday, January 26, 2005heyo..
did anyone see my green color emath ten years' series.
haha.
i seem to have lost it.
guess ive got to get a new one then..
its so hot this afternoon
i feel as though im gonna get a heat stroke any minute.
the heat and giving me terrible headaches.
yea.
at 8:19:00 PM
Tuesday, January 25, 2005I could go either way. I have sinned quite a bit but I still have a bit of room for error. My life is a tug of war between good and evil.
Are you evil? find out at Hilowitz.com
at 6:42:00 PM
haha.
had chinese test today.
i think its quite ok.
:):)
yea.
went j8 to have a feast.
feast on chicken, takopachi, cheesy hotdog, chicken(again).
hahha..
bought apple aloe vera too!
ok.. i guess thats considered a feast...
haha. yeaa :D:D
HOME!
at 6:35:00 PM
Monday, January 24, 2005oh.
im home.
so dead tired.
met guili.
haha. was quite entertained by her amusing stories.
had amath test today.
i made lots of careless mistakes.
....
hmm.
got to go for lots of remedial.
-eng.
-math
-physics
its considered quite alot isnt it.
consider the fact tt there is only 5 school days in a week.
:\
at 5:57:00 PM
Sunday, January 23, 2005-whines-
i want i want!!
i want nana!
i want sophia!!
i want you! you you you!!!
i want to be smart!!!
I WANT TO BE SMART!!
I WANT TO BE SMART!!!!
:/
at 11:01:00 PM
EVERYONE!!
be so proud of xt now! :)
she actually went to jog!
AGAIN!
on her own account!
-cheers-
okok.
im gonna do some stuff now!
-eat
-watch tv while eating
-do my hw
-plan my time table
-spend time with god
-study
-study
-study studyy.. :)
at 7:40:00 PM
Friday, January 21, 2005TEACHER: alright! now let's write a letter to someone important to you and give it to him or her! :)
N: hey. do u get along well with M?
Y: yea! *smiles sweetly*
N: i dont like M. she's stuck up, show off, irritating.. *continues*
M heards.
M: HEY N! YOU IDIOT! *runs away*
N sticks out tongue.
Y: -frowns at N- hey... IM gonna go write my letter with M!
M's at the playground.
Y: M!!! im here to do this with you!! -waves paper ard-
M started to cry.
M: why are you here!! go do it with her! you two could get along well!!
Y: -starts tearing- NO!! I WANT TO DO IT WITH YOU!!
M stopped crying..
M: can i ask you something?
Y: YUPP!
M: am i stuck up?!
Y: YES!
M: am i a show off?!
Y: YES!
M: do i lose my temper easily?!
Y: YES!
M: and you still dont mind being my friend?!
Y: NOPE! :)
M's very touched..
M: I wrote a letter for you! :)
Y: REALLY?! -touched-
M: YUP!
Y: -holds M's hand- lets go back to class together. :):)
M: friends forever.. :)
friends accept you for who you are, not what you did for them.
at 2:51:00 PM
Thursday, January 20, 2005oh wells.
almost late for school today.
haha.. dropped by 7-11 to get a kitkat chunky for bernice since its her birthday. :) also got nana and me kinder bueno. yay!
hahas.
anyways. got to sch JUST on the dot.
yay. marikita..
had 2 hrs of eng.
its cool.
cos its right before recess and straight after recess. haha. and ms ho gave us a longer recess, cos she tot she let us out late.. which i dont really think so. muahaha. ok. anyways.
was narrating an anime i watched to nana.
so funny. and abit hentai.
so yea.. R-21. kids cannot watch it k. :P
caregroup yesterday was very fun too!
haha. its funny and happy. :):):):):)
HEY PEOPLE! DO SIGN MY guestbook! :):)
thankx alot. :)
at 7:34:00 PM
Tuesday, January 18, 2005just some random pics. :P haha.
yay! wyn me luaniiee. :):)
^thing nana and me made! :)
*oh and nana wishes to look anonymous.
so she held her bottle infront of her eyes, thinking its very cool cause she looks like some charactor in x-men.. -__-
haha. she very cute la.
oh and did i say we took pics in my banana classroom?
haha. yeaa! we did! :) haha.
we look like some blue fungi in the banana.
haha. ok. just a joke. :P
at 7:03:00 PM
ahh.. i feel so relieved and free.
cause ive no tests after today!
:):)
hmm. many ppl. having cca today.
but im at home now..
no cca for me..
im cca-less.
i kinda like it actually.
haha.
but then.. i've got to live in "fear".
haha. cause whenever ms lim holds the mike, i've got to hold my breath.
hoping she wun say something like
"PHUA XIAO TING I WANNA SEE U NOW!" - which i dont think she will. or maybe.. "i wanna see those who dont have any cca NOW!..."
ok. this is scarey.
better get myself one asap. :|
haha..
at 5:27:00 PM
Sunday, January 16, 2005... my sister took my sparkling shiny hairband..
:(:(:(((((((
okok. nvm. its just a hairband..
haha. :)
alright everyone!!
sleep early!! :):)
theres school tmr!! :D:D:D
take care and see u ppl. soon! :)
at 11:37:00 PM
we respect that which we cannot see
thus the blade will be wielded
at 3:45:00 PM
haha.. guili very funny...
Potato loner says:
hahaha...potato loner
xiaoting. says:
haha
xiaoting. says:
wads tt
Potato loner says:
a potato who is lonely.........WAHAHAHA....SO FUNNY
haha. its not funny!! HAHA.
but she made it seem so funny!!
hahaha.. :):):):)
at 2:40:00 PM
Saturday, January 15, 2005oh this is sucky.
im having a really bad headache and my head's spinning.
PLUS PLUS. my bro. is down with fever and stuff. and im supposed to look after him since my parents wun be at home. ..
gonna miss service.
kept myself entertained.
found this magazine on my sis' table.
and theres this page abt new year resolutions.
some of them are rather funny.
esp the subs.
Spend More Time With Your Children.
because they grow up so damn fast.
Stop thinking about buying a Bottega Veneta bag.
JUST GO BUY IT.
Get pregnant.
because you want to. And so does the government.
Bathe the cat
it you put it off any longer, the fleas might apply for citizenship.
Love your body just the way it is.
because its the only one you've got!
hahaahaa..
i think its rather funny.
ok. at least there's one sensible one.
Pray
because miracles do happen. :):)
yea. and my bro.'s playing guitar.
its quite nice actually. haha.
i think he only knows how to play tt properly.
at 11:34:00 AM
Thursday, January 13, 2005im feeling half-paralysed.
my legs and waist are aching.
phew.. so glad to be home..
at 7:58:00 PM
Wednesday, January 12, 2005oh. had pe today.
my elective was floorball.
was so funny la.
its more like a screaming session.
hahaha.
and i couldnt get over to the other side.
and my lungs are bursting out of exhastion.
haha. quite fun la.
grped with luan, soph, nana and cinli.
haha... scored a goal eh. not bad. :):)
then school was alright today.
yeps.
haha. supposed to stay back for math test today(AGAIN!)
but thank god.. mr tan let me bring it home.
yay. so i went cg.
:):)
CG WAS FUN TODAY!
haha. very funny as well.
esp. the aeiou game. lame.
muahaha.
guessed our cg quality improved. :):):)
thats really great. :):)
krisstle came too!! :D:D:D:D!
get well soon yushan! :)
at 8:54:00 PM
Tuesday, January 11, 2005..
im very sad now.
greeny died..
greeny is my terrapin.
its not moving..
:(:(:(:(
at 7:01:00 PM
Sunday, January 09, 2005muaha.
watched mulan today.
its kinda funny.
esp mushu.
haha. :):)
the way he speaks is so funny.
hoho.
i need to do my work!! -screams and runs ard-
-HONG LOU MENG
-read king of the castle
-revise chem and physics
-comprehension
at 7:08:00 PM
the billions shift from side to side
and the wars go on with brainwashed pride
for the love of God and our human rights
and all these things are swept aside
by bloody hands time can't deny
and are washed away by your genocide
and history hides the lies of our civil wars
:)
HAPPY BIRTHDAY KRISSTLE!
AND WELCOME TO NEB!! :D:D:D
haha.
at 1:22:00 AM
Saturday, January 08, 2005look at the fear we're feeding
look at the lives we're leading
the way we've always done before
omg. i think guns n' roses are so cool.
got woken up by some loud talking noises.
my bro. invited his friends to our house early in the morn.
tsk.. grrr.
relax.. yay.
im gonna go watch mulan.
at 9:55:00 AM
Friday, January 07, 2005haha. was just looking at my young time pics.
i dont really have many.
and most of them are taken with my siblings.
haha. show u ppl. one of them. :D:D:D
i quite like this one act. :):):)
:):):):)
im the one with the milk bottle.
and my sister's the one posing(as usual anyway.. haha.).
at 10:17:00 PM
i think friendster's new layout is kinda ugly.
prefered the older one.
.......
its finally friday!!
and it meant tt i dont have to wake up 6am in the morn tmr!
DOUBLE HOORAY!
:D
oh. im not going cca fair tmr.
haha. deborah and daniel are very cute.
was feeling rather amused and entertained by them today.
went to print bulletin.
and one of the church staff started taking pics of us.
haha. very funny.
and deborah bounced in!
then daniel with two sugar biscuits in hand.
ahah.
they're so sweet.
haha. and they were teasing soph and me for using SINGLISH EVENTHOUGH WE'RE IN SECONDARY SCHOOL NOW!! -___-
haha. but they're really cute. love them. :D
at 9:23:00 PM
im in school again!
not late today!
haha.
ayy ayy.
forgot to bring my JIAN BAO!!
..
T.T
i did it and i forgot..
ok. my sister took it lor.
gonna go home take it later.
i think this math lessons are a waste of time.
HaHa.
but i like it..
-starts singing- thats the way uh huh uh huh i like it uh huh uh huh.. -___- ok. just laming ard.
hoohoo.
yihui's bside me nOW!
-pats eewee on her back-
WAHAHHAHAS! i think she think im a little absurb or some sort. wahahas. :D
at 10:12:00 AM
Thursday, January 06, 2005asked for cca transfer.
and that interact club teacher doesnt wanna take me.
and she told me go join library..
or just beg gwee to let me go back guides.
-____-
im CCA-LESS!! HELP!!
-screams and runs ard-
at 9:39:00 PM
in school now.
haha.
having emath retest later.
:|
washed greeny's tank yesterday night.
it looks much better with a clean tank.
haha. :):)
ayy. i forgot most of my sec 3 math.
:\
at 9:27:00 AM
Wednesday, January 05, 2005haha. this is funny.
we were talking abt dreams when we're sleeping.
haha.
<*[AH HA]*>--> cRazy~ says:
i dreamt i died b4
<*[AH HA]*>--> cRazy~ says:
i was cycling
happy together. (: (: says:
then?
<*[AH HA]*>--> cRazy~ says:
then ar
happy together. (: (: says:
HAHA
<*[AH HA]*>--> cRazy~ says:
a car suddenly come and bang me down
<*[AH HA]*>--> cRazy~ says:
then i jump out of my bed
<*[AH HA]*>--> cRazy~ says:
really jump
i think its very funny!! HAHA..
at 8:41:00 PM
changed back to my previous template.
at 4:37:00 PM
oww.
i think theres something wrong with my tooth.
it hurts..
and my mouth hurts..
grrr. haha..
dont dare go visit my sch.'s dentist..
supposed to go last yr during the holidays.
-sobx-
at 8:02:00 AM
Monday, January 03, 2005haha.
siewluan rox my socks man.
haha. shes always making me laugh.
suddenly recalled wad she sang today.
haha.
cause i was like singing.
you are the way the truth and the life
we live by faith and not by side.
for you im living all for you....
haha.
and im repeating it over and over again.
so luannie pok started singing.
but hers WAS A DIFFERENT VERSION! haha
you are the way the truth and the life
YOU LIVE BY FAITH I LIVE BY SIGHT!
WAHAHHAA..
sounds so faithless!!
WYNNIE!! SHEPHERDING ON FAITH FOR LUANNIE! hahaha.
okok. its just a joke. hah.
ok. got our year book today.
and im so horrified to see an indian girl in my class!! OILY AND HAVING SLICK HAIR! OMG! AND TT GIRL HAS GOT THE SAME FEATURES AS I DO!!
ok. its me.. -______-
i was so double horrified.
i still am..
please dont try to sneak a peek into sngs 2004 yr bk..
thanx alot.
wahahha...
haha. :):):)
HORSEYS!!
at 10:26:00 PM
ahh..
baby i love you and i'll never let you go
but if i have to boy i think that you should know
all the love we make can never be erase
and i promise you that you will never be replaced
baby i love you and i'll never let you go
but if i have to boy i think that you should know
all the love we make can never be erase
and i promise you that you will never be replaced
i love you yes i do
i'll be with you as long as you want me too
until the end of time
from the day i met you
i know we've be together
and now i know i wanna be with you forever
i wanna marry you and i wanna have your kids
thinking never compare to feel enough to kisses
i can say i'm truly happy to the same
you've made me think i'll die and live my life hesitate
there's never been no doubt in my mind
that i'll regret ever having you by my side
but if the day come that i'll have to let you go
i think that something i should probably let you know
with everything that i spent with you
then i will miss you cause i'm happy that i have you at all
i feel for you yes i do
i'll be with you as long as you want me to
until the end of time
at 9:14:00 PM
NEW TEMPLATE!! :):)
at 9:10:00 PM
okay.
back home!
first day of school today! :)
was kinda excited.
ALMOST late for school.
because when i reached the bus stop the bus left already.
so by the time i reach yiochukang.
i missed my second bus too! ....
....
so i cabbed to sch.
REACHED school on the dot.
*phew.
to think tt im gonna be late first day of school really sucks. HAHA. but i wasnt late!! YAY! thank god!
ok. then i realised i lost my nametag. T.T
:(:(
ok. i still have another one at home.
mr gan insist that nana and me cant be sitting together cos we talk too much.. ok.. so we're gonna like keep quiet and be guai this year. :D
then RECESS!
oh btw. my class looks like banana.
outside yellow, inside abit milky white.
haha. :):)
after recess went to hall for some talk.
fell asleep leaning on luanie. hoho.
okok. after tt went to toilet to wash up.
and we started playing games.. -____-
ok. my register no. was chosen.
haha. :)
quite a boring day in sch.
but im very glad to go back to sch. :)
haha. haven finish holiday hw. :|
gotta finish it soon!!!!! :D
at 6:31:00 PM
Sunday, January 02, 2005VERNON!!!!!
i want my card and i want my pics! :P
at 6:05:00 PM
got this quiz from WYN! :)
1. what did you do in 2004 that you'd never done before?
erh.. i not too sure. :]
2. did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
i donno. HAHA.
3. did anyone close to you give birth?
nope.
4. did anyone close to you die?
nope.
5. what countries did you visit?
Malaysia.
6. what would you like to have in 2005 that you lacked in 2004?
i'll like to have GOOD GRADES! :D wahaha.
7. what dates from 2004 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
mmm. quite alot. somewhere in august.. i guess.
8. what was your biggest achievement of the year?
donno eh... hurhur..
9. what was your biggest failure?
DEFINATELY SCHOOL GRADES!!!
10. did you suffer illness or injury?
some herpes zooster thingy.
11. what was the best thing you bought?
jacket.. ITS COLD...
12. whose behavior merited celebration?
?? dont get this question. wahha.
13. whose behavior made you pissed off?
some people. wahah. only a few.. and i think im just being paranoid la.
14. where did most of your money go?
FOOD.
15. what did you get really, really, really excited about?
oh. when this very exciting thing happened. :D
16. what song will always remind you of 2004?
WE WISH U A MEERY CHRISTMAS AND A HAPPY NEW YEAR!! :D
17. compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
sadder
b) thinner or fatter?
i think i grew fatter. wahha.
c) richer or poorer?
RICHER! COS I MARRIED A RICH HUSBAND!! WAHAHA!..
..
..
kidding. poorer i guess.
...... haha.
18. what do you wish you'd done more of?
useful things.
19. what do you wish you'd done less of?
some boring and unneccessary stuff.
20. how will you be spending new year?
hahaa.. normal i guess. went esplanade alone and watched performances. haha. before that went for service.
21. did you fall in love in 2004?
GOD! (copy wyn's haha.)
22. how many one-night stands?
none. i'll probably be lying down since im sleeping. i wun be STANDING UP ONE WHOLE NIGHT!! haha. lame. -___-
23. what was your favorite tv program?
a few. some san shi feng yu lu thingy, some movies, the champion? :)
24. do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
nope.
25. what was the best book you read?
i guess it shld be the dictionary.
26. what was your greatest musical discovery?
err. i think the bassist of the electrico is funny?? ...
does it count? hoho.
27. what did you want and get?
errh..
28. what did you want and not get?
errh..
29. what was your favorite film of this year?
eerrhh. the incredibles? haha.
30. what did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
hanging ard in rc. went for a jog with wynzie. and yea. im 15. :)
31. what one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
get better results.. at least pass all. :(
32. how would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2004?
collar. shiny. funny. ugly.. UGLY BUT COOL OKAY!!! haha. yea.
33. what kept you sane?
my saneness. is there such thing? haha.
34. which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
STEPHEN CHOW!! :D HE VERY SHUAI!
35. what political issue stirred you the most?
bombing of mrt stations?
36. who did you miss?
i miss alot of people.
37. who was the best new person you met?
err... havent met much new ppl. lei. haha.
38. tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in '04.
find out the truth before saying anything.
39. quote a song lyric that sums up your year
we have joy we have fun we have seasons in the sun..
at 3:23:00 AM
Saturday, January 01, 2005happy new year to all.
went unit outing today.
it was quite fun.
ate at pizza hut.
and siewluan tried smuggling cheese topping onto my slice of pizza!!
ok. stopped her.
took neos.
its quite funny la.
went to zhiwei's place.
played mahjong.
cabbed home.
count down with the cab driver.
......
at 1:55:00 AM
